Happy Birthday Dorothy : Dec-10

How many people do you know can cut logcake as her birthday cake every year?  I only know Dor can. 

Therefore even though they are not Christians, Dor's family celebrates X'mas and throw X'mas dinner almost every year.  Though this year is no exception, with the clash of SSA's 80th Soka Gakkai Anniversary Celebration Meeting held at the indoor stadium with Dor's birthday cum X'mas dinner, we could not eat Dor's logcake.

The gals adore Dor.  Hence even when they are unable to celebrate Dor's birthday, hope their very cheerful birthday greetings reach their Ah Dor Jiejie!!

Effects of TV : Dec-10

The gals have discovered Starworld channel on cable TV recently. A program they have watched together was Australia's Next Top Model where the contestants strutted their stuff on the catwalk amidst the other reality tv stuff. Well, we didn't know that has rubbed off Enen until Zhenjie put on this dress for her on X'mas Day at Megan's house that morning.. Thereafter, I noticed Qiqi has also been strutting around the house with a deliberate bounce! (;

Our Malaysia Trip : Dec-10

Since En'en is born, the family never have an oversea holidays yet.  Finally this year, we decided to drive up to Malaysia for a short break.  It is initially planned to Cameroon Highlands, but considering unfamiliar to the Malaysia roads and the distance, we settled with something more manageable, Port Dickson and Sunway Lagoon.

Everyone is excited about the trip, including En'en who does not really knows where she is heading to.  The gals are also delighted that their Ye-ye is joining the fun.  Most of the planning are based on blogs posted on the web and the google maps for the GPS which we will be strongly relying upon.  Malaysia Soka centres are also part of our itinerary besides the places which we will be relaxing and enjoying ourselves. 

We set off on the 13th Dec, 2 days after Qiqi's P6 graduation day and the journey goes like this...
Day 1 - Melaka Soka; Melaka Jonker Street; Thistle Hotel@Port Dickson; Swim and relax
Day 2 - Ostrich Farm@PD; Swim; Seafood dinner
Day 3 - PD town; KL Soka@Bukit Bintang; KL Soka@Cheras; Sunway Lagoon
Day 4 - Theme Park@Sunway Lagoon, Shopping
Day 5 - Home sweet Home

All of us enjoyed this trip, a nice break from our routine and work.  The gals as usual enjoyed the stay in the hotel rooms, especially at Sunway where we stayed at the CLUB level, pretty impressive.

Anyway, who dun enjoy holidays... we already starting to plan for 2011...

Visit to Soka Gakkai Malaysia : Dec-10

The very first stop after we crossed the second link was the Malacca kaikan. We almost gave up the idea of visiting this Malacca kaikan as we were told that this kaikan is located far from the city centre and to get there, we would have to pass a Malay kampung which is rather unsafe for a single Singaporean car!

However, after Victor turned his iPhone into the most sophisticated GPS system in the market and discovered how the Malacca kaikan was along our route to the city centre, that became our very first stop! (:

On our third day after we left Port Dickson, we told our very sophisticated GPS that we wanted to visit the KL kaikan. As the very sophisticated GPS system did not have the latest sophisticated map of KL, Victor had to search for a nearby point on his google map and tell his no-longer-sophisticated-in-KL GPS that we wanted to make our way there. Alas, Victor dropped his pin at a wrong location, and we had to re-educate our GPS on the actual location of our KL kaikan, as reflected on our letter from SSA-HQ. Whoa~ the KL city kaikan though prominent and about 10-storey high, has a pretty narrow and inconspicuous entrance. We missed the entrance along the busy one-way road, and had to route a long way to return to the kaikan..



At last, we successfully turned into the kaikan compound and found the basement carpark. To our surprise, we were told that the kaikan was closed for the renovation of the mentor & disciple centre, which would take up the top three levels. What a pity.. we were told by the Malacca kaikan staff that we could visit the mentor & disciple centre at the KL kaikan and were looking forward to it! Mr Leong, who spoke to us at the lift lobby gave us the directions to the KL culture centre.. which happened to be along our way to Sunway Lagoon. Hmm... we were running late.. should we?

Let's juz do it! So, a place where we thought we should reach by lunch time, we eventually made it only in the late afternoon. But WOW~ the culture centre is huge! They have a Soka Kindergarten there too!

PD Anniversary P6 Graduation : Dec-10

Since I joined PD, I have lost count of the PD Anniversary or PDAs in which I was involved.. must have been at least six or seven, but this year's PDA held a different meaning to me. Qiqi is amongst this year's PD graduands! (: Qiqi was still in kindergarten when I first became a sunshine aunty. Qi was curious about my PD meetings, and she was so excited when she finally entered primary one and had her own PD meeting to attend. Well, her excitement was short-lived.. I recalled many occasions whereby I had to cajole or chide her into attending her meetings. There was this incredible episode where we struggled at the staircase of Aunty Annie's place for a good ten to fifteen minutes.. Her lower primary meeting place was at Aunty Annie's house, and I had to send her there before rushing off to my own upper primary meeting at Aunty Carol's place, both starting at 2pm. As usual, I was running later than desired and did not think much of Qi's request to attend my meeting instead of her own. After all, it was not the first time she made such a request which I did not give in.. Well, Qi has always been a persistent child and she displayed her persistence all the way this time. Upon stepping out of the lift to Aunty Annie's place, I dragged and pulled a whining Qi all the way up, hoping to make my way to the house in the shortest time possible. Halfway at the staircase, Qi's whining turned into loud wails and cries as she absolutely refused to budge any further, totally ignoring residents and all passers by. Mind you, there was quite a lot of passers by at that time as lion cubs and their parents made their way to Aunty Annie's house. These lion cubs are all Qi's friends from her PD class but she had completely no sense of embarrassment and continued to cry and wail at the top of her lungs!!?? While lion cubs and their parents made their way past us, Qi's sunshine auntys who were in Aunty Annie's house made their way out to check out the din. Most were shocked to see Qi's behaviour as she was usually pretty well-behaved. In the end, I had to relent and bring her to my own PD meeting, late. That was an extremely stressful incident.. Fortunately after much sweet-talking from both her papa and I, Qi never protested as hard for all subsequent meetings. She also has the good fortune to have very caring and easygoing auntys who gave in to her requests and tolerated her nonsense, especially this past two years. After attending the P6 camp in March, she was actually looking forward to PD meetings!! At the beginning of this year, I told myself that this must be my most participative PD year ever, as I must lead Qi to have a most memorable time in PD this year! I was there for all the P6 events, even every PDA practice there was.. well, almost except for one! I believe I have broken my own attendance record.. Qi's papa's support for the PDA practices has also been unprecedented!! (; Hahaa.. this was also the first time after so many years that Victor attended our PD Anniversary graduation, with Xuan and En. He must have enjoyed it as Qi received much limelight during the PDA - always in the front row during the dance, and also selected to lead in the 'Be Brave' and 'PD Song'. Here's the PDA graduation in brief and Qiqi's items at length.. (;

Second Trip to Universal Studio : Dec -10

Instead of holding a Dinner & Dance, GSK decided to extend the joy out to the employees' families and have a family day at Singapore Universal Studio this year. 

This is our second time visiting USS, this time, mama comes along too... Leveraging on our past experience, we rented a stroller for En'en immediately when we arrived.  As the scorching hot sun shines upon us, En'en got tired quickly.  Without the stroller, I could imagine us carrying her from point to point.  This move proved to be the best decision made for the day!

Despite the big crowd and queue, every GSK colleague I met seems to be enjoying themselves.  We managed to capture more videos this round too! Although we did not stay at the USS hotel, this trip is equally fun compared to our first visit.

Pictures from below the Singapore Flyer : Dec-10

My first time on the Singapore Flyer...It has air-con inside the carriage.When I was going into the carriage,it was still moving! It was moving so slowly that sometimes I think it was not even moving.But it was moving all the time.The scenery was so beautiful I started taking pictures.I even needed to delete some pictures to take more!
Here are some pictures that I think are the nicest.

Qiqi's PSLE result released : Nov-10

It has been more than a month of waiting and finally D day arrived.  25th Nov 2010 was the day Qiqi received her PSLE results.  A moment anxious to many in the family...

Since young, Qiqi has always been a happy-go-lucky gal, however, there were rare occasions where she demonstrated great confidence.  After her PSLE, from some sources unknown, she demonstrated a level of confidence so amusing and enormously great -she wants to enter Raffles Girls School and join their rhythmic gymnastics!  She kept repeating this wish as if she has already been accepted by the school.  Shin Yang and myself were pleasantly amused or rather entertained by this gal.  With her preliminary results, Maths(C), Chinese(A), Science (B) and English (B), we constantly scratched our heads and tried to comprehend her rationale for saying that.  We have only one conclusion - this girl was simply overly-optimistic!

From the moment her PSLE examination ended, Qiqi certainly has been very relaxed, watching TV, practicing her stretching, playing computer games, doing art and craft... not a single sign of worry was revealed.  She was like a bird, released and feeling it's freedom from the cage.  It was only the day before the results when she displayed a little anxiety and started to request Shin Yang and Xuan not to accompany her to school the next day.  I laughed, suddenly her confidence burst like a bubble. I teased her and suggested some neighborhood schools for her 'contingency' plan.

On the actual day, I was unable to be there for her (too busy at work)... We tapped on to technology, Shin Yang emailed me instantly from her iPhone, updating me every details.  Alas, Qiqi got her results... all As!  Definitely a leap of improvement for her, yet just above average.. :-)

Nevertheless, we were glad with the results... well at least personally, my hours of accompanying her studying were not wasted.  Of course, results were not everything... it was the process! the journey of hard-work and the joy of reaping the success.  In this PSLE journey, Qiqi should pay gratitude and thank her good fortune to having a group of kind and responsible teachers, who spent almost the entire year, putting extra hours and efforts in tutoring and guiding the students.

Buddhism is about winning and in this journey, Qiqi had emerged victorious in many aspects.  I hoped she continues to strive in her life, phase after phase...

Visit to Soka Gakkai Bangkok : Nov-10

Many many many moons ago when Jetstar offered super low airfares for some locations, Victor and some colleagues decided to take advantage of their offer and planned for a short getaway to Bangkok. That getaway did not materialize as Thailand subsequently suffered their recent most serious 2010 Thai red-shirt protest.. More than half a year later, we finally made our trip!

Ikeda Sensei brought Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism to 192 countries and territories worldwide. To trace Sensei's trail would be almost unthinkable, the least we could do is to visit the Soka Gakkai centres in these countries. Hence Soka Gakkai Thailand @ Wittayu Centre, Bangkok became our very first stop.



This SGT centre is a very humble one, very much like our Lor 18 Geylang centre although its premise is a little bigger. They presently have two halls and an office cum sales area, one hall with a gigantic butsudan and seats as all kaikans have, and another smaller hall with a more modest butsudan and members take to the floor to chant. A handful of members were chanting as we joined them and performed our morning gongyo for the day. The kaikan is currently undergoing some renovation and expansion.. I am sure this kaikan will be able to serve more members if we were to return for a second visit! :)

Xuan's 2010 : Nov-10

This is what this artwork is called, the future city.I drew,painted and decorate it. Took me 4 lessons to complete it.

This art piece is about a disastrous city because of global warming.I drew silhouettes of people and animals.The colourful smoke are the polluted air from the chimney.

En'en and Nanny : Nov-10

En'en is born a fortune baby.  Through her, our family (especially myself) has revived our faith and started learning and practicing Nichiren Buddhism earnestly. She is our 善知识, someone who is born to improve and bring our faith to the next level.

Not only the family's faith and good fortune have grown along with En'en, she also has an enormous benefit herself, and that is to have the great fortune of having a nanny who adores and treats her just like a family.

珍姐brought En'en up just like a family member.  Whenever there are events which are interesting for En'en, she will never miss her out.  Her spirit, energy and compassion have greatly impressed us.  Since En'en is young, 珍姐 has brought En'en to many special places and events, like 歌台, National day, Chalet... Recently, her "visa" to En'en has even extended to oversea trips.  So far, En'en has already traveled 2 times with her Nanny to Gentings and Penang.  It's embarrassing to say her first overseas trip is not with us.

Recently, Esther (珍姐's daughter) has compiled and burnt a photo disc for En'en.  I am sharing them to let you feel envious... :-)

Shin Yang's Birthday :Oct-10

When there is a birthday celebration in the family now, the person whom gets really most excited is probably En'en.  En'en could now better relate and anticipate all events happening in a birthday celebration; cake cutting, red eggs, presents... and just thinking about them, makes her pounding with excitement.

This month is ling's birthday and I had bought her a durian cake from Jane's cake shop at Jalan Kayu.  While Shin Yang enjoys almost any kind of cakes, looking at how En'en responds to the cake makes me feel that this girl would outshine Shin Yang in no time.

En'en Goes On A Plane.. Without Us : Oct-10

Enen went for her first holiday out of the country in June this week. To Genting with Zhenjie's entire clan, including Megan, for a weekend. They went by coach. This time, Zhenjie's entire family brought Enen along for a visit to Joanne in Penang by plane. Her sisters were green with envy at Enen's good fortune to be able to travel & vacation. Look at how mature Enen looked as she checked into the boarding area!

80th Anniversary Song - I Rise : Oct-10

SSA will be holding the 80th Anniversary Celebration on 25 December at the indoor stadium to commemorate the Soka Gakkai's 80th Anniversary and 50th Anniversary of worldwide kosen-rufu. This also signifies a fresh departure for SSA towards 2017, SSA's 50th Anniversary.

A theme song "I Rise" has been specially composed for this occasion. All of us will learn this beautiful song at this month's discussion meeting.

Our Aspiring Contortionist : Oct-10

After persevering at ballet lessons & exams for more than 6 years, Qiqi is finally showing some enthusiasm at a ballet-related activity - stretching and being flexible. In fact her twisted Qiqi brand of passion once again surface - her ambition now is to be a contortionist!! In fact, she has even google the possible institutions to help realize her dream; she wants me to send her to a supposedly renowned gymnast school in New Jersey.. i bet she doesn't even know where is that!!?

Anyway, to have a dream and to work towards it, is admirable. When she realized that I don't have the resources to send her to New Jersey, she is now looking at local gymnastic programs and even secondary schools with rhythmic gymnastics as its CCA. Whatever it is, at least Qiqi is looking forward to her ballet lessons now.. ;)

Meanwhile.. until she has means to find a decent barrel to practise her barrel contortion acts, our home laundry basket seems an acceptable alternative.

"RIP" iPhone : Oct-10

This must be a funny sight which ponders you... looks really like a wake held for a missing iphone, isn't it?  Well, if that's what you're thinking, then BINGO!  Shinyang had accidentally dropped her phone into the water last night.  According to the apple warranty, any liquid damage to the phone is not covered.  We did not know until the support person told us that there is a actually a little white indicator on the iphone which will turn red/pink if contacted with liquid.  Desperate, Shinyang started to google how to salvage her dear phone.  One recommended way is to keep it under the raw rice which will absorb all it's water moisture.  Many people who had their phone soaked in the washing machine, hot tub, dropped into river were able to revive their phones using this method... Amazing... let's hope Shinyang's phone will back 'alive'.

Paying Last Respects to Mrs Lee Kuan Yew : Oct-10

Last Saturday evening while the family was watching the usual Taiwanese soap opera Love, a series of chinese words ran down the tv: MM Lee's wife has juz passed away at home at the age of 89. Goodness gracious! It has only been a couple of days that MM Lee being admitted into hospital to treat a chest infection was on the news..

Though I was never very interested in Mrs Lee to find out more about her, the manner the media reported her death was very effective in generating this massive sense of loss in me.. that my motherland has lost a mother of the land! Having juz lost mummy and still feeling lost with the loss, guess I felt especially sad about Mrs Lee's departure.. In fact, I felt an urge to go pay my last respects to her!

When I voiced my thought, Xuan immediately said she wants to go too. So on the second day when the public was allowed to visit her wake, Victor took half a day off and we set off to the Istana after fetching Xuan from school and taking a quick lunch together.

Poor Nanda's Lamp : Sep-10

September, being the traditional zaimu month, has been designated the Month of Good Fortune & Gratitude for SSA. To bring across the spirit of making offerings in Buddhism, we courageously made a novel attempt - we did a sketch adapted from the Buddhist parable, The Poor Woman's Lamp.

In our sketch, Nanda, a poor woman with a strong & pure heart, was very touched by King Ajatashatru's long procession of lamp offerings to Shakyamuni Buddha. So touched that she too wanted to offer a lamp to the Buddha! Alas, she had no money. So she sold her long, beautiful hair in exchange for a little oil to light a tiniest lamp for the Buddha, at the same time praying for the wisdom to lead everyone in the world to enjoy great happiness. Due to her sincerity & selfless prayer, her tiniest lamp among all was the only remaining one to glow brightly on Eagle Peak throughout that night of cold, strong wind from Mount Sumeru. Not even Maudgalyayana could extinguish the tiny lamp's beautiful glow the following morning! Shakyamuni Buddha acknowledging Nanda's pure, sincere offering for the whole world's happiness, prophesied that Nanda will definitely become a Buddha who possess the most wonderful wisdom in the future!

Well, Nanda's *"efforts were not impressive, and people preoccupied with mundane affairs might not have taken the slightest notice of the dedication she expressed in offering the amount of oil. But Shakyamuni was indeed a man of penetrating insight. You can no more severe the ties of sincerity which bind human beings to one another in the depths of their lives than you can cut through water or air. Even when all other things wane & collapse into the whirlpool of life's relentless difficulties, such sincerity will only glow all the more brilliantly. "

"It is not the material worth of an offering but the spirit behind it that counts. The poor woman's single lamp meant far more than the five thousand barrels of lamp oil which Ajatashatru, the ruler of that country, donated to the Buddha. The little lamp contained the sincerity that a nameless woman felt with her entire being. A mind which attaches the importance even to the slightest matters and which loves and treasure even seemingly insignificant things can profoundly move people even through a small action."

We sincerely hope to bring through Nanda's sincere and selfless spirit of offering through this amateurish effort. Enjoy ~~ !

* extracted from Treasures of the Heart by SGI President, Daisaku Ikeda

New Toy, Rebounder : Sep-10

It was a while since we had read about the greatness of a rebounder.  However considering it's size, we had been a bit hesitant in getting one.  It was only recently when i went back to read about it's benefits that i finally decided to get one for the family.  It was great fun!  But i thought that's secondary... by jumping on the rebounder, you could be surprised on the "incredible health returns" you could obtain while having fun. 

These are some of it's benefits: 

• 68% more efficient than jogging (NASA, Journal of Applied Physiology 49(5): 881-887)
• Fights fatigue by strengthening the glandular system to increase the capabilities of the thyroid gland, the pituitary gland and the adrenals.
• Rebounding has a natural analgesic effect on the body which helps to relieve joints and pain in the neck, back, and head through the increase of circulation and oxygen flow.
• Conditions and strengthens the heart which allows the resting heart to beat less often. This in turn sends a stronger surge of blood through the veins.
• It provides an extremely effective 'no impact' exercise - especially important for those with less mobility or undergoing rehabilitation.
• Rebounding has been found to lower elevated cholesterol and triglyceride levels.
• It increases metabolism which assists the body in burning more calories.
• One of the primary causes of aging is the declining performance of the heart and circulatory system. Rebounding is incredibly effective in increasing the performance of both the heart and the circulatory system and thus slows the aging process.
• Rebounding specifically stimulates the flow of lymph fluid through the lymphatic system. The change in gravitational forces allows for greater blood flow and this increases the amount of waste and toxins flushed from the body. Rebounding can increase lymph flow by up to 15%!
• Rebounding has also been found to enhance digestion, relaxation, sleep patterns, nerve impulses and muscle fiber.
• Blood pressure can be significantly reduced by rebounding. This is achieved by boosting the muscle tone of the middle arterial muscles and the improvements to the circulatory system.

Xuan's Party : Sep-10

Having done pretty well for her SA1 this year, Xuan 'earned' a birthday party juz like her jeje three years ago. Unfortunately her birthday falls right smack in between the much-dreaded CA2.. She reckoned most of her friends would not come for the party even if she were to invite them, hence we had a post-CA2 party instead.. a gathering of friends on Sep 1, the Teacher's Day school holiday!! :)

Men's Division day : Aug-10

24th August is SGI Men's Division Day!  This month in our discussion meeting, I am supposed to explain the significance of this day.  The extracts from our Creative Life magazine are relevant and good but my presentation skills does not seem to be able to bring out the gist of it.  Fortunately, Shin Yang is able to obtain a presentation pack from our creative and diligent Aunty Huili.  Shin Yang then enhanced the pack with the Chinese text and even borrowed a projector from Aunty Kristie!  With these visual aids, it definitely helps to capture the attention of our members and ease my explanation.  I have such a nice and hardworking wife for Kosen Rofu, i thought.. :-)

Changing of banner photos : Aug-10

We were looking at our blog banner's photos a few days ago and realized how much our gals had grown these two years. Qiqi is now about Shin Yang's height and En'en is no longer a baby.  Thus, it is probably time to replace our banner's photographs to sometime more recent.  Compare the differences below, and see how fast kids can grow...

Old Blog banner photo

New Blog banner photo

En'en Stays Home Due to HFMD : Aug-10

HFMD strikes heavy again this year.. affecting En'en. I still recall how Qiqi's entry into childcare was delayed by a few months due to this HFMD too about nine years ago.. Well, Enen has been on school holiday since last Friday, and for this entire week.

According to Mag who called me last Thursday upon the request of Mrs Wong who has to call all the other parents, NCK has to close because the doctor who attended to the HFMD child from NCK reported the case to MOH as required; the parent of the child however told the NCK teacher that the child juz had skin allergy.. so it's not HFMD and the school did not report to MOH or take additional precautions accordingly. NCK must have been caught by surprise by MOH! Anyway last Thursday afternoon, the NCK teachers were calling up all parents to inform of the school closure.

Hope everything will resume, and most importantly, transmission of the HFMD in NCK will be completely cut off!

MDs & YMDs' 威风堂堂 During CD Meeting : Aug-10

In July we had our Youth (both YMD & YWD) Formation Days to cheer and celebrate. We had a special 30-minute segment in our monthly discussion meetings wholly dedicated to it.

Come the August monthly discussion meeting, we will have our MD Formation Day to celebrate! To kick off, we had our MD & YMD leaders during our monthly chapter district leaders meeting singing and fanning to one of Sensei's favourite songs of all time - 威风堂堂. Enjoy ~~ ;)

Mummy's Passing Away on 6.3 : Aug-10

Mummy has always held Ikeda Sensei, her mentor in life, close to her heart. She holds her head up high as Sensei's true disciple as she cherishes her members and fights alongside them for their happiness and victories. Mummy said she has no regrets and a life of kosen-rufu is indeed the way to live a meaningful existence. In very recent years, Mummy has also became a very reliable senior in faith whose extremely sound and candid advice, I have came to realize, I cannot do without.

This year is a very significant year as we celebrate Soka Gakkai's 80th anniversary and Ikeda Sensei's 50th year inauguration as its president. So why does Mummy has to go in this year when we want to celebrate our victories on December 30, 2010? Why?? Surely there must be something more profound than mere coincidence ya?

Mummy's existence till June 3rd this year is in itself a victory. By practising the Mystic Law, Mummy has transformed her fixed karma and increased her lifespan by a good twenty years! This is indeed an amazing victory as the Daishonin prayed for his mother and prolonged her life by four years.. Mummy has prolonged her life by twenty years!!

May 3rd or 5.3 is Soka Gakkai Day, the day on which Toda Sensei and Ikeda Sensei were inaugurated as Soka Gakkai's second and third presidents respectively; the day on which Makiguchi Sensei attended his last Gakkai general meeting before his imprisonment and subsequently passing away in the prison; the day on which our mentor renewed his vows for kosen-rufu based on the spirit of mentor and disciple.

July 3rd or 7.3 is Mentor & Disciple Day, the day on which Toda Sensei was released from prison during World War II; the day on which Ikeda Sensei was imprisoned on false charges for crimes he has never committed. Both 5.3 and 7.3 are dates which the Soka Gakkai never fails to commemorate and observe year after year.

Mummy has chosen a date right smack in between these two significant dates on June 3rd, to pass away. Maybe Mummy wants us to acknowledge that her life, and indeed she wants our lives too, to be closely interconnected with the Gakkai.. Not forgetting that Mummy and Papa's wedding anniversary falls on November 18th or 11.18, date of establishment of the Soka Gakkai. Neither Mummy nor Papa knew Soka Gakkai or Nam-myoho-renge-kyo then..

June is not only the school holidays for my girls, June is also the time for all to review the progress on the goals and targets set at the beginning of the year.. Probably Mummy wants us to after mourning her death, to quickly pick ourselves up once again as we refocus on working towards the accomplishment of our goals and targets set for this significant year of Soka Gakkai's 80th anniversary? So that we must emerge victorious on December 30th, 2010 regardless?

Sensei said, "If you allow yourself to be defeated, all the excuses in the world will get you nowhere. Defeat is defeat no matter how eloquently you may justify yourself. The important thing is to win where you are right now; to achieve victory without fail."
“如果轻易放弃，任何借口都无济于事。即使多么漂亮的借口，失败乃是失败。因此，我们要在自己所处的环境中取胜，绝对取得胜利。”

Mummy is no doubt a fighter, a victor till the very end. Surely she will want all of us to fight and to accumulate victories after victories in our lives, till the very end too!

Mummy's First Birthday Without Mummy : Aug-10

Mummy would turn 64 if we have a chance to celebrate her birthday together with her this year.. 64 is such a tender age for a grandmother, isn't it? My grandmother, Ah Jia, celebrated till her 89th birthday..

Jiun said Papa wants to cut a cake for Mummy as usual, so she will buy a cake that Mummy likes - tiramisu. She asked if we will go back to cut the cake together.. For the past more than ten years, I have never spend the occasion in another fashion; it has always been a pretty cake with candles, singing the birthday song, making birthday wishes, blowing the candles, & cutting the cake for all to enjoy. This year without Mummy, how would Mummy's birthday turn out? Should we really cut Mummy's cake despite her absence? Is it alright to abide Papa's wish? Is it healthy for us this way? For how long would we continue to do this?

13 August, this year also Friday the 13th, we went back Pa's place for dinner. Jiun bought the tiramisu cake from Mummy's favourite emicakes. Just like last year, Ah Yee & Yee-zhang came over too. Just like last year, before we cut the cake, it was a round of mahjong..

Finally the highlight of the night.. the tiramisu birthday cake was brought out. No birthday song, no candle on the cake.. Pa brought the cake in front of Mummy's picture and 'showed' her the cake, 'told' her we have bought her favourite cake for her. Then we simply gathered around & Pa cut the cake; a slice was placed in front of 'Mummy' too. We savoured the yummy cake as usual, leaving two slices for Hong & Dor; Hong is presently involved in the ongoing December Rains musical.

Guess we are not an expressive lot, especially so now that Mummy is no longer around, the opposite is probably more true. I had thought I have gotten used to the idea that Mummy has left my side.. but I came to realize that I may not have accepted the fact and that I may be still waiting for her return.. .. return from a vacation or somewhere?? So what if it has been more than two months? I had my Mummy for more than three decades, surely the unexpected loss isn't something that can be adapted in more than two months..

National Day : Aug-10

Celebration@Heartland Eunos

Celebration@the Padang

This year celebrates Singapore's 45 years of nation-building. In an attempt to secure some NDP tickets, Victor entered all five of us as well as his parents' names for the balloting. Alas~~ all seven of us failed and we secured zero ticket for the NDP show.. :(

Qiqi was rather disappointed as she has enjoyed herself thoroughly at last year's NE show when she went with all her P5 schoolmates. She kept badgering to want to attend the NDP, last year and this year too. Very persistent, very annoying indeed!!!

When Papa suddenly told us Uncle KC has some NDP tickets to spare, without a second thought, I told Papa that we want them! Even when we found out that those were not Padang tickets, the fact that we'll be given NDP tote bags were better than nothing for Qiqi.. :) We were still deciding if we should bring Enen..

By the eve of National Day, Victor & I don't even have to decide if we want to bring Enen to the heartland Eunos celebration because Enen's Zhenjie has gotten NDP tickets @ the Padang for Enen and Megan, & will bring them there with Esther!!!!!!!!!! Boy, Qiqi & Xuanxuan were so so so so very jealous!! ;)

According to Zhenjie & Esther, Enen thoroughly enjoyed herself despite the long hours and the scorching hot weather at the Padang! She was dancing almost throughout the entire show with Megan though she was drenched in perspiration. Megan who hardly perspire, was also profusely wet! Together, the two young good friends sang the national anthem, danced to all the national day songs, watched the beautiful fireworks.. Before heading home, they even enjoyed some ice-kachang to cool down! Kudos to Zhenjie & Esther!!!

Racial Harmony Day : Aug-10

21 July 2010.. Enen's very first Racial Harmony Day!
Afterall, this is her first year in school. :) She was appropriately dressed in an Indian/Punjabi child's costume, while her best babyhood friend, Megan, was in a modern Chinese outfit.

You probably wouldn't guess that the costume En was wearing, was exactly what Xuan wore two years ago when Xuan was seven years old & in primary one! The blouse needed absolutely no alteration (in fact, i doubt En could wear it a year from now); the skirt was altered by her capable grandma.. shortened by about seven inches! Presto~~ En has a beautiful Punjabi suit for Racial Harmony Day!

大诗人 - 恩恩 : Aug-10

谁可以告诉我这是哪一位诗人的诗吗？

En'en is three! : Jul-10

En'en turned three this month! At her age, this girl has progressed well... recently, she enjoys chanting and could chant Nam-myoho-renge-gyo very clearly.  She also rarely skips her morning and evening practice, simply fantastic!

In communication skills, we thought she has quite good listening skills and commands her language well.  After mummy's passing, she will regularly console Shin Yang with hearty statements like "Don't cry, you miss your mummy?", "You don't want your mummy to die?", "Don't be sad, ok?"... and most often, she will accompany her words with a big bright smile and a big hug..  so sweet, isn't it?

As usual, En'en celebrated her birthday at both places this year... being the youngest family member, i suppose she gets all the attention and pampering. 

Wailing Ambulance : Jul-10

I was at the traffic lights waiting for the green light this morning when I noticed a civil defence ambulance right behind me.. and its lights was flashing. Would they sound the siren? Should I get out of its way? Somehow the sight of this light-flashing vehicle in my rear-view mirror looked painfully familiar..

My last journey with Mummy on the roads was in such a vehicle.. Mummy was already unconscious and into respiratory arrest when they put her into the ambulance. While the paramedics were busy resuscitating her at the back, I was in front watching the driver tearing down the road as vehicles hastily got out of its way. The speed was crazy; my mind was a total blank except for Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.. Surely, Mummy would be okay i thought. Why would she be otherwise? It was juz a few hours ago that I expressed relief that Mummy was finally able to sleep and drink up her beverage too, wasn't it? To be able to sleep and eat were definitely positive signs of recovery worth celebrating, wasn't it?

Shortly after Mummy was wheeled into the A&E ward, a doctor came up to speak to us. She bode unpleasant news.. very unpleasant indeed! First, she asked if we knew that Mummy was a terminal-stage cancer patient. Next, she told us because of that, the hospital would NOT put Mummy into ICU where she would be hooked onto machines and kept alive as long as possible. Then, she said Mummy would probably not survive the next few hours.. she won't make it to morning.

I want Mummy to live! As long as Mummy lives, hooked onto machines or otherwise, there's still hope for miracles to happen, right? Mummy's a fighter and she wouldn't give up, wasn't it? If she won't give up, why should we?? Why would the hospital give up on her?? Hospitals should help her live, not help her die!! What nonsense was the heartless lady doctor uttering that Mummy was already suffering and that we should not prolong or increase her suffering by inserting tubes into her? That we should love her and let her go and not hook her onto machines? Why would we send Mummy to the hospital if they are not going to help her survive? What an inhumane doctor telling us that we are unfilial simply because we want the best possible option for Mummy? She wanted to give Mummy antibiotic for the lung infection despite knowing that antibiotic will not work.. When we enquire about possible blood transfusion to help Mummy regain consciousness, they were adamantly against it saying her blood count was normal and blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah..

** **

When the traffic light finally turned green and the vehicles in front began moving, the ambulance siren wailed. I immediately signaled left and moved to my left to allow the ambulance to race forward. As it drove past, I can't help but kept chanting in my heart.. please, please.. let the patient live.. as tears started welling in my eyes.

I want my Mummy back..

Nails : Jul-10

Horrendously long nails - ugly!
Nonetheless, I wish I never have to cut them again.. so that i can still think, "Mummy was with me the last time i cut my nails.." which wasn't so long time ago, isn't it?

It was a typical weekday morning when i visited her after dropping Enen at school. As usual she was seated on the sofa watching her morning tv programs. Of late, she had been requesting for massages on her shoulders, upper arm and back.. almost ceaselessly, from everyone - yati, jiun, hong, dot, me.. The aches or numbness or pain or all must have been quite unbearable.. :( Anyway, I was almost ready to give her my best massage except that my fingernails were too long; they would cut into her skin and cause her fragile skin to break and bleed, i thought. So on the spot, I quickly cut them all. All cut nails are edgy and sharp, so I was profusely scratching my nails on my legs to 'blunt' them before I massage Mummy. I still remember Yati giving me the puzzled look and Mummy asking me what was I doing scratching my ankle joints so hard!

... ...

I dread cutting nails, be them mine or my daughters' as I think I can never cut nails beautifully, like Mummy. Though Mummy almost never apply any nail polish to her fingernails as far as I can remember, Mummy's nails were always trimmed beautifully to a pointed ladylike shape. When I was much younger, I always thought I will naturally learn to cut nails beautifully after I grow up and become an adult. Alas, that never happened. Mummy never taught me how to cut nails like hers. She has also never cut my nails to those of her shape! Since young, she has juz cut my nails straight across to make sure they are short and neat.. but never pretty, pointed and ladylike, like hers. Hahaa.. guess how did i cut my daughters' nails?

Holiday@Universal Studio SG : Jul-10

Shortly after mummy's passing, the family took a planned holiday at our own Singapore's Universal Studio!  Honestly when I was there, i felt so proud about Singapore to have this magificent Resort at Sentosa.  There was really nothing to complain about.  In fact at some in time, we were so indulged into the holiday feelings that we din even realise that we were in Singapore until the mobile signals and TV channels "betrayed" us!  Worth visiting again...