Mummy's First Birthday Without Mummy : Aug-10

Mummy would turn 64 if we have a chance to celebrate her birthday together with her this year.. 64 is such a tender age for a grandmother, isn't it? My grandmother, Ah Jia, celebrated till her 89th birthday..

Jiun said Papa wants to cut a cake for Mummy as usual, so she will buy a cake that Mummy likes - tiramisu. She asked if we will go back to cut the cake together.. For the past more than ten years, I have never spend the occasion in another fashion; it has always been a pretty cake with candles, singing the birthday song, making birthday wishes, blowing the candles, & cutting the cake for all to enjoy. This year without Mummy, how would Mummy's birthday turn out? Should we really cut Mummy's cake despite her absence? Is it alright to abide Papa's wish? Is it healthy for us this way? For how long would we continue to do this?

13 August, this year also Friday the 13th, we went back Pa's place for dinner. Jiun bought the tiramisu cake from Mummy's favourite emicakes. Just like last year, Ah Yee & Yee-zhang came over too. Just like last year, before we cut the cake, it was a round of mahjong..

Finally the highlight of the night.. the tiramisu birthday cake was brought out. No birthday song, no candle on the cake.. Pa brought the cake in front of Mummy's picture and 'showed' her the cake, 'told' her we have bought her favourite cake for her. Then we simply gathered around & Pa cut the cake; a slice was placed in front of 'Mummy' too. We savoured the yummy cake as usual, leaving two slices for Hong & Dor; Hong is presently involved in the ongoing December Rains musical.

Guess we are not an expressive lot, especially so now that Mummy is no longer around, the opposite is probably more true. I had thought I have gotten used to the idea that Mummy has left my side.. but I came to realize that I may not have accepted the fact and that I may be still waiting for her return.. .. return from a vacation or somewhere?? So what if it has been more than two months? I had my Mummy for more than three decades, surely the unexpected loss isn't something that can be adapted in more than two months..